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with broken handle and dreams – char!

“Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.” (at Fortune Island, Nasugbu, Batangas)

I’m having trouble sleeping again these past few days. Aside from the late meetings for work, I can’t pinpoint what’s keeping me from dozing off.
Maybe because there are a lot of things in my mind that I cannot put aside. Thousands of things running in my head, and I can’t even make myself run for a couple of minutes – haha! a sad joke 😛

Where am I now in my life?
When I was in college I said – I will get married by 26 and by then I have a house, car and family. I will be successful in my field and lived-happily-ever-after-the-end.

Did it happen?
I married at 29. No house (but now we are paying off a unit that we hope to move in by 2018). No car. No babies *yet*. And I do not know if I am THAT successful. I should have defined it a little more because I am not sure if I am there yet 😛 BUT I’m definitely not in the ‘the-end’ part yet 😛

Reflections. Reflections. Reflections.

Am I doing it right?
Should I quit my job and find a new one or pursue something else?
I will be reaching my 10th anniversary this year and did I achieve the goals that I have set before? Am I still engaged? Challenged? Happy?
I’m married for 2 years and still have no child. Is there something wrong with me? Why’s my husband having reservations visiting the doctor for this? Am I really that old to have babies? If I do get pregnant would it really that hard for my age already?
Would I know how to take care of another life?
What do I really want to do? To be?

There I go again with my endless contemplating and self-pity!
Or maybe it’s just the heat! The heat wave in the Philippines makes you want to lie down and do nothing because it sucks up all the energy that you have. If only this heat can melt my fats away, THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!

On the other note, Cris broke our door knob :/

*sigh* me and my random rumblings. hay buhay


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